Goldie Sue Probert

Little Goldie is already over a week old... where does the time go?! Time sure does fly! I wanted to write her birth story while it is still fresh in my mind because it is something I want to remember forever. She really is a miracle.

My due date was November 16 and she really wasn't ready to come. I went to my doctors appointment the next day on a Monday, and I still hadn't progressed any. I was devastated. The doctor told me to come back on Friday and he would check to see if I had progressed. Friday I went to the doctor.... and nothing. He set up my induction date for Monday, November 24, but he wanted me to come in on Sunday so we could start the process because I hadn't had any results on my own. Scott and I headed to the hospital ready and anxious to start the process to meet our little angel. So Sunday night the started me on a medicine called  cervadyl which is supposed to help you dilate quicker. Throughout the whole night I was having contractions that were about 2 minutes long and 1 minute apart. However when they checked me again the next morning, I was still only dilated to a 1. I was a little mad because it felt like my body had been doing so much work.

So Monday morning they started me on pitocin and I continued to have contractions that were consistent. Still no progress. The nurse told me I was now not to have any solid food, so I started the liquid only diet. After a whole morning of no progression and constant contractions I decided to get an epidural. I am terrified of needles so that was pretty scary, but it felt so weird and took away the pain. Yay! They continued the pitocin in higher doses. Still no progression. The doctor then decided to do a cervical balloon, which is also something they do to help dilate more quickly. I had that in for a couple hours and it helped me dilate to a 4! I was so excited I thought for sure we would be meeting our baby soon. A little after they took the balloon out, the doctor came in and broke my water. After multiple times of being checked with no progression, the nurse checked again in the middle of the night and I was at a 5. I couldn't believe that it was only a five. They came in again early in the morning and I was at a 9 I was so surprised and happy. Although a couple hours later they came back to check again and I was still. I was so frustrated, and exhausted. I started to feel helpless. I hadn't eaten in 24 hours and had already been in labor for over a day. I started to have a feeling I needed a C-section, which scared me to death. I have never had major surgery so this feeling gave me chills. When the doctor came in saying that we were going to wait one more hour before we would consider a C-section. By this time my epidural had run out, I was exhausted and starving and I couldn't dream of pushing a baby out. I cried to Scott and said that I really think I need a c-section, but I was so scared. The nurses came in and kept making me switch sides because they were having a problem finding the baby's heartbeat.

My mom noticed that every time I had a contraction, the baby's heartbeat would drop. She finally decided to run and tell the nurse that she didn't like what the monitors were doing. Within minutes nurses and doctors rushed into the room and informed me that I was going to have a c-section. I was shaking I was so nervous. I didn't know what was wrong with the baby, or if she was alright or if I was alright. I am so grateful to have such an incredible husband who kept me positive. Scott chose to watch the c-section, he even brought in a camera to take pictures (which I later made him delete the ones that were too gory, I don't like seeing myself cut open like that..)  I had a doctor who was watching me, and one performing the c-section, then several nurses. They were all amazing. The doctor watching me was on one side of my head, on the other side was Scott. I was awake but couldn't feel anything but pressure, and pushing and pulling. It was so crazy. Scott soon exclaimed "it really is a girl!" I then started panicking because I didn't hear a cry. I kept saying "why isn't she crying?" and "what's wrong?". Then I heard the doctor say that I was losing a lot of blood. (which made me super weak and nauseous) I looked at Scott who had tears in his eyes, and so did I. I heard her quiet little cry and it was so sweet. Goldie Sue Probert was born November 25, 2014 at 9:35 am. She weighed 7 lbs 7 oz and was 19.5 in long after 38 hrs of labor, 8 different nurses, and a c-section later. And she is perfect.

I sent Scott with Goldie to go watch her get bathed and weighed because I was unable to get out of bed for another day. He took more pictures for me. He was incredible throughout the whole process.. I just don't think I can convince him to have any more kids ;) He was so great while I was in bed to change diapers and dress her.... just everything. I love him so much.

After I was moved from the labor and delivery level of the hospital to the mother/baby part, my doctor (Dr. Lamoreaux.. he's awesome!) came in to see the baby. I thought this was so thoughtful of him! He told us the reason Goldie's heart beat would drop every time I had a contraction was because her cord was wrapped around her neck, so when I would contract it would choke her. She was also basically stuck in the birth canal forever. Poor girl had a pretty bad cone head and bad bruising on her head. I was also informed the reason that she was stuck, and I wasn't progressing on my own is because it is basically anatomically impossible for me to give birth naturally. The way my pelvis and spine lay make this difficult because a baby just can't fit. So c-sections from now on for me.

Although the birth went nothing like how I planned, I wouldn't have it any other way. It brought me so close to my husband and strengthen my testimony so much. I really am so blessed to have little Goldie here safe, and healthy. Plus she is so dang cute. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for such a loving family who was so supportive through the whole process, and continue to be supportive. We love you so much Goldie Sue.

still pregnant

Yes, it's true, I'm still pregnant. Technically I'm 39 weeks as of yesterday! I am approaching my due date ever so quickly, and I am more than excited to FINALLY meet this little one! We are ready to roll, the nursery is done, our bags are packed, now we are just waiting for this baby to decide she is ready (please hurry!). As we saw week 38 come and go, I felt a little discouraged because I was born a few weeks early, so I thought there was a strong chance maybe our baby would be too. But she's still cooking! Even though we are so close, it still feels like a dream that the baby really could come anytime, and that she's our baby. It is a really overwhelming feeling to know in a few short days I will be someone's mom. It gets me emotional just thinking about it. Scott is so excited. I'm not worried about him at all. I know he will make the best dad, because really he is such an amazing husband. Well, hopefully next time I write something, I will have pictures of a cute little baby to share. :)

38 weeks large. Also cut off 6 inches of hair to save some time in the mornings!

anxious

Well, this is it. Less than a month until we will meet our little girl. There are so many emotions to take in, and I am unbelievably anxious. I have loved being I pregnant (for the most part) but now I'm to the point where I am so uncomfortable. I don't sleep, have a hard time even finding a comfortable position sitting, and my legs have terrible circulation problem. I also currently have a sinus infection... so it's so fun! Just to further expand on my growing  body, I showed my little sisters AuBrey and KarLei my tummy and this is what they said: AuB, "oh ew" and Karl: "It looks so much bigger without a shirt... doesn't that hurt!?" (when she saw stretch marks) Haha.. it was so funny! With that being said...  I am more than ready to have my baby here to hold. I know that I am going to miss this big belly of mine like crazy, and for selfish reasons. I love having her with me always. Plus she has currently had the hiccups a lot, which is so cute. She also is loving moving all over the place, trying to get comfy I assume. :)

This past weekend we got our nursery all set up, the clothes and blankets are washed and ready to hold our little babe! I started the "fun" doctor's appointments this week. I am dilated to a one, and she is already head down, and I am measuring a little under average. The doc said that everything looks good and if I had my baby today she would most likely be perfectly healthy. Because I am full term!! Next step I should probably get a hospital bag packed, and also a diaper bag put together. I feel completely overwhelmed with gratitude, and also disbelief that this baby is going to be ours. We already love her so much. I love watching Scott touch my tummy and feel her move, he lights up when he feels her rolling around. I can only imagine how great of a dad he will be. I am over-the-moon excited to meet our little angel.

My 36 week belly!

bumpdate: 32 weeks

It is so crazy how close it's getting. I have so many emotions going through my mind as October approaches.. october means only one more month! The more that I think about how close, the more excited I get to meet our daughter. I love thinking of us as a family of three. She has already become such a big part of our family. She seems to already have such a personality. During the day I get head buts, or her little bum pushing up against my tummy... I love it! She moves the most at night though, right when I lay down in bed, she is all over the place. She must be running out of space because I feel her all the way on my sides! She really makes sure she is comfy in there.

Last week we had a bit of a scare. It was really hard, and made us both think about how much our baby really means to us. I think writing it down will help us remember how many blessings and miracles we experience every day. It puts life in perspective and makes us realize God has a plan for each one of us. After a day of not feeling our active daughter move, I started to panic. Luckily we have a heart rate ultrasound thing (I don't know what it's called). I moved it around on my belly, but a usually easy to find heartbeat could not be heard. I kept trying and trying, but I could only hear my own heartbeat. Of course I started to cry, and worry like I never have before. Scott would be home from work in an hour so I decided to wait until he came home to tell him what was going on, I thought maybe I was just being paranoid. So I kept praying that our baby was okay, and desperately trying to find a heartbeat. Scott came home and I was a mess. I could hardly say what I thought had happened because I was so sad. Scott then tried to find her heartbeat but he couldn't find anything. We then called the OBYN office to see if there was anything else we could do, but they had already closed. I asked Scott for a blessing, and he willing accepted. It was the first blessing Scott had given me. I really appreciate him and his priesthood. Right after the blessing we decided that we would try to find a heartbeat again. Scott barely touched my stomach, and the heartbeat was loud, clear, and steady. We both were in tears. We said a prayer after thanking Heavenly Father for answering us so quickly. He was so aware of us. Neither Scott or myself had ever had a prayer like that get answered so directly. As worried and scared as I was, I am so grateful for that experience, because it strengthened my testimony of faith, and prayer. It also brought me so close to my husband, and my Heavenly Father.

29 weeks

Wow. Getting down to the wire! About two more months. She is about 3 lbs and 17 1/2 in long. I had a doctor's appointment this morning and it went really well. It was just another appointment where the doctor checked the heartbeat of the baby, and got my weight, and blood pressure. Am I the only one that freaks out when I see my weight get heavier and heavier... then think.. am I ever going to fit in my old jeans again? Haha oh well.. comes with the job right?
It was good to hear the little one's heartbeat is still strong, and I also passed my glucose test! YAY. Also, why can't they show me our baby every appointment!?  Anyways....

We've gone throughout the whole pregnancy with one girl's name in mind.. a name we love so, so much... but now we have another one that we love just as much. What to do!? I guess we will decide once we see our little girl. (I also keep getting a feeling we will have a surprise boy haha) Ahhh!

I went into pregnancy saying... I don't want to gain a lot of weight... and I definitely don't want stretch marks. Now I have both of those things, but it really doesn't matter. When I really think of what I'm getting out of this is so much greater than getting back to my "ideal" weight. The closer we get to meeting this little girl, I can't contain myself. She has been my buddy for almost seven months, I just can't wait to meet her. I love the kicks I feel... she's a strong little lady. It is so nuts how you can look down and your tummy just moves.. It's awesome and I love it so much!

My goodness I am excited. I am also so overwhelmed with gratitude, for my Heavenly Father, family, friends, and especially my sweet husband Scottie. He has been more than amazing with putting up with my whining, and rubbing my feet/back, or holding my hair... haha I love you so much babe! I can't wait to be a mom!

chicago

A couple weeks ago we got the opportunity to visit Chicago! It was such a blast. We went with our best buds Izzy and Eric.

This is what Chicago consisted of:

-Eric is a huge cubs fan so we had to visit Wrigley field.. twice! 

-We near mastered the transportation system. The L train and buses.

-We went to the pier and went on a giant spider infested ferris wheel. Eric saved our lives by killing the giant black widow in our little cart. 

-Of course we did some shopping on the million dollar mile. The nike store was heaven.

-We ate lots of good food (pizza, hot dogs, cake shakes, doughnut ice cream sandwich...aka pregnant lady's paradise!)

-We visited the bean, so cool! 

The people were so nice! Every time we said we were from Utah we would either get, "how many wives do you have?", or "of course, you're friendly and pregnant." So yeah... it was way funny. We loved this trip, and the memories we made! It was the last big trip with just the two of us. Thanks Izzy and Eric for inviting us!

third trimester

YAY! I made it to the first trimester! We are getting so close to meeting our little girl... I can't wait! I had a doctor's appointment a couple weeks ago where I did the glucose test. Yes, it was disgusting.. that was the worst orange soda I have ever tasted! The appointment involves getting your blood drawn again.. I'm still not quite used to it, I struggled this time! They also weighed me and took my blood pressure.. it is hard to see the numbers go up, but hey I have another person on the scale with me right?? We got to hear the little one's heartbeat again and she seems to be doing great. My cravings now are smoothies, frozen yogurt, or soft serve Macey's ice cream....yum! My tummy is definitely growing but I don't feel gigantic yet. Although right along my ribs falls asleep all the time, that area just goes numb and it's so weird! I'm to the point where I really can't remember what it was like to be not pregnant.

Last  weekend my mom and sisters, and Aunt Krissy threw me a shower for the Monson side, and it was so much fun! It got me really excited for a girl. They really spoiled me! I am so thankful for them!

As we get closer and closer to our baby coming, I find myself thinking about what she'll look like. Scott and I are quite different when it comes to features. He's brown eyes, brown hair, and really tan skin (like some people think he's a different race). Then I have lighter eyes, and blonde hair... So I really don't know what we will get! So I have loved looking through baby pictures so I can just see the different combos :) His eyes are the cutest!

I am so happy and grateful to my Heavenly Father. Pregnancy is really a miracle, and I feel incredibly  blessed to be able to become a mom.

bear lake & denver

We had our Beck Family Reunion in Bear Lake this year over the weekend of the 24th of July. It was so much fun to see all of the Becks. These family reunions are always so great, and I look forward to them each year.

We got to go to a giant cave and do some exploring. I believe we hiked 880 steps... I learned my pregnant  self doesn't have quite as good of balance, so I was clinging to Scott most the time. The cave was amazing! We were all on the look out for bats, but luckily we didn't see any.

My mom jumps at any chance of holding a baby. 

My Aunt Kassie organized some service projects as well that we did in our down time. Last September she gave birth to the cutest little boy ever, Crew, and he has down syndrome. So we made blankets, stuffed animals, hats, and little activity bags for kids who are in the hospital for long periods of time. It was a lot of fun to do all together. We also got to go to the funny play Juanito Bandito... it was hilarious, and we loved it!

We also got to spend time at the lake. There was a water trampoline, paddle boards, paddle boats, floaties, a canoe, and sand toys. The little ones were in heaven! I wish I would have taken more pictures! 

loving the water!

And if you go to Bear Lake... you have to get a raspberry shake!!

This past weekend I took a girls' trip with my mom, my baby sister KarLei and my Aunt Kristen. KarLei had a soccer tournament in Denver, so it was an 8 hour road trip. Such a beautiful drive. I was able to go because Scott was on a business trip in San Jose that same weekend.. so I didn't want to be alone! The trip consisted of eating and soccer, as do most of our trips, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I loved watching Karl play, it made me miss soccer so much. Her team ended up winning the tournament! Way cool... her team's third tournament in a row (including state cup)... I know I'm such a proud sister, she is just so stinkin' cute!

21 weeks

It's official... We are having a girl!!! We technically found this out at 14 weeks, but found out again on Monday!

Almost everyone we talked to thought our baby would be a boy. And my family was eager to add more boys into our family. So I was ready for baseball and cars, but to our surprise there was something else in store for us!

At 14 weeks our sister-in-law Paige, and her mom Julia, who is an extremely talented nurse in labor and delivery, took us to the hospital for an ultra sound. She explained that it is early, and we may not be able to see for sure, but we were excited to see our baby again.

Julia and Paige you are both seriously awesome! Scott and I are definitely needed your help. I couldn't figure out where the baby's head was until someone pointed it out. Our baby was for sure showing off for us! She would stretch their legs and arms all the way out, then curl back up, and spin around. The baby would bring her little hands (which you could see every finger, cute!) up to her face, and cross her feet. Our baby is so active!! (Maybe that's why I've been so sick) Julia gave us so many views of our little one. On one of the views our baby looked right at us, and you could see the cute little face, and eye sockets. Another view was a bum view, and a frontal, so you could check for a male part. Our baby was making this easy because she moved around sooooo much!

Seeing our little girl in the ultra sound was amazing. You could see every little detail. Her spine, and bones, those long kicking legs (we got a soccer player on our hands ;) ), every finger and toe, her heart beating, everything was perfect.

We decided to do a reveal party for both sides of our families. We got two cow pinatas, and filled them with pink candies and balloons, so our nieces and nephews, and my little siblings, could break them open to find out. It was so fun to see everyone's reactions!

When we went to the doctor again, at 21 weeks on Monday. Scott still had some doubts that the baby really was a girl, but within seconds the ultrasound tech was able to tell that the baby was definitely a little girl. We were so eager to see how much the little baby had grown. She had gotten so big! She seemed a little cramped in my tummy! She was sleeping like the entire ultrasound while sucking her little thumb. It was so cute. The ultrasound tech took all sorts of measurements, checked her little heart, and heartbeat, and counted knuckles. It was amazing. To get better shots of her face with her fingers out of her mouth the tech asked me to get up and walk around and bounce to try to wake the baby up, but we had no luck. She's a sound sleeper just like her mom!

I mean look at that little nose, and those lips!

 It makes me emotional to think that I have a little girl growing, and she is a little bit of me, and a little bit of Scott, and she is perfect. We both love her so much already, and are so grateful to our Heavenly Father for allowing us to take care of one of his precious little daughters.

13 weeks

May 16, 2014

Another doctor's appointment today, and it was a quick one! We didn't get to see Baby P, but we did get to hear the heartbeat, and it's still going strong! Way to go little one! I can't get over how fast the baby's heartbeat is and how slow mine is. The doctor said the baby is doing good. I haven't gained any weight, probably due to the morning sickness.

I am starting to finally feel better, and not throw up as much, but I still feel nauseous and nothing ever sounds good, but it tastes good when I eat it. I still feel extremely tired, and if I tried, could probably sleep all day. Some days I am more productive than others, but other days I am lucky if I change out of pjs. Poor Scott knows when I am down, our apartment is a disaster, and he has no clean clothes, or dinner. Sorry sweets!

I still haven't craved any one item. Fruit always sounds good thought. The other day I was craving Hot Dog on a Stick, so we drove to the nearest mall that had that, and I got a cheese on a stick and lemonade. I have the sweetest husband. For a long time I have been craving a Costco Hot Dog (weird with the hot dogs I know) but I am so scared to actually eat one, because if I get sick... it would not be fun.

Everyone in our family, on both sides, that we've asked thinks that we are having a boy! I honestly don't know. Multiple times a day I change if I think it's a boy or girl. Jax really wants a boy (so does my dad) so he's not even more outnumbered by girls. My sisters also think its a boy. So does Scott's parents, so maybe Baby P is a boy!? Scott and I at first were hoping for a girl, but thinking of the baseball, basketball and football games I could go to, gets me excited for a boy at some point. I mean we would have similar interests. We will definitely find out the gender as early as we can, we are both too anxious! Sorry mom and dad, I could never wait till birth like you did! :)


Everyday I feel incredibly blessed, so much so I usually cry (I'll say it's the hormones ;) ). I have the most amazing family on both sides. My mother-in-law is always so sweet an willing to talk, and she makes me even more excited because of her enthusiasm. My father-in-law is equally as awesome. My sister-in-laws have been great and give me such great advice, they are all great moms, so I really appreciate it! Thank you Paige, Can and Ash! McKayla is a little hurt that we didn't wait longer because when the baby is born, she'll be on her mission in Peru. My siblings are so sweet, they are so great with kids and babies. Every little kid and baby loves them... I scored for the best babysitters! My parents are also amazing and supportive, I love them so much!

my mom

With yesterday being mother's day, my heart was really full of gratitude for my mom. My mom is nothing short of amazing. She has taught me so much over the years, and have so much to thank her for.

My mom is so supportive of all my siblings. I never remember not having at least one family member at one of my games. I know things can get pretty crazy when all five of your kids play two sports and there are at least five games a week, not including practices. She always did her best at being there and supporting each one of us, and I appreciate that so much.

Not only did she support us in sports, she teaches, and coaches us all in our sports. She is an incredible athlete. She has a perfect free-throw, and three-point shot, can throw a spiral every time, and can even feild a baseball! She would always play with us, and make sure we wouldn't get too competitive with each other.

My mom is an incredible cook! She makes the best food, and I realize that even more now that I'm not living at home. Scott I promise one day the cooking skills will come more naturaly :). Every day before school she would have a hot breakfast for us, then pack a lunch for school. At night she would have dinner ready, but we would wait until everyone got home to eat together as a family, even if it was at 9 o'clock.

Service and hard work are important to my mom. Growing up in my ward there are a lot of elderly people who are lonely. My mom would always visit them, bring them a homemade dinner, mow their lawn, pull their weeds, sweep their gutters. She always notices when someone needs help, and there she is with her snow shovel, shoveling everyone in the neighborhoods driveway. She is so sweet, and kind.

My mom is the best women I know. I look up to her in so many ways, and appreciate everything she has done for me and for others. She teaches by example. I am incredibly blessed to have an amazing example of what a mother should be. Thank you for all you do mom, I love you! Happy Mother's Day!

9 weeks

April 18, 2014

I think that I should start documenting my pregnancy so I can have these memories and moments written down. I am pregnant! It is so crazy to think. We are still keeping things a secret, but our families and close friends know. Our families were so excited to find out we were pregnant. My family was a little shocked, seeing it will be the first niece/nephew, making my parent grandparents! haha.

We got to go to the doctor for our first appointment today, and it was so exciting, and now being pregnant feels real. We got to see Baby P for the first time. You couldn't see much, but a cute little gray blob. The doctor called it a "little gummy bear". The coolest thing was we got to hear the heartbeat. That little heart is sure working! It was beating so fast! You could see on the ultrasound where the heart was because it flutters on the screen. Baby P is healthy, and doing well! It was so fun to see Scott so excited about this little baby, he's going to be a great dad.

This is a terrible picture, but the doctor assured us it's a baby!

I got my blood drawn for the first time too today... it didn't go as smoothly as I would have hoped. I don't like needles so I chose to hold Scott's hand, and look the other direction. It didn't hurt that badly, but man I felt so light headed. Then I started feeling sick, so I asked where the nearest bathroom was, and the nurse moved the garbage can in front of me. I was breaking out in a sweat, and breathing hard. Scott thought it was a little dramatic haha! She gave me an ice pack for my neck and a lemonade to get my sugars up. I sat in the room for about five minutes then started feeling better.

So far I have been really nauseous, and have gotten sick quite a bit. I am guessing this is morning sickness! Yay. Most days it's like all day sickness haha. So I make myself comfy in the bathroom. Scott is an angel for holding my hair, or getting me water in the middle of the night. Thanks babe.

I haven't had too many cravings, other than rootbeer. Everything else I crave I throw up and never want to eat, smell, or look at again haha.

I have gained a couple pounds. Mu tummy just looks like I need to do some sit ups, not like I am pregnant yet. I can tell, but I can easily hide my little pouch. I feel like the baby is a girl, and so does Scott, but my brother is praying for a boy!

I am so grateful for this opportunity to become a mom, and add to my little family. I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for trusting Scott and me with one of his sweet spirits.